Actual Bodily Harm . . .by a one-year-old!

Or to be a bit less dramatic and a bit more factually correct: Nose bleed, by a one-year-old. Grace was having her afternoon nap and had been asleep for far too long, so I thought I’d creep into the nursery and try a bit of gentle rousing – see if she was amenable. So in I tippytoed and approached the cot. Then I had one of those moments. You know, where they just look so peaceful and GORGEOUS, and you smile to yourself, wonder how you ever managed to produce something so perfect and go all squishy. I go up to her feeling all motherly and tender and in my gentlest sing-song voice say to her “Waaake you up with kisses, Graceeee” My mouth is now but an inch away from her little face – about to apply said kisses, when my left foot steps on the talking Pepper Pig (Who informs the room that  she “LOVES SPLASHING IN MUDDY PUDDLES!” which makes Grace throw herself upright, headbutting me hard on the nose which bleeds immediately and profusely. Both of us cry for several minutes. It’s tricky trying to stem the flow whilst trying to calm a hysterical toddler, but eventually calm is restored.  Nothing broken – other than a potentially tender moment! Ow. Not more than ten minutes later she’s made a full recovery from her rude awakening and is happily twirling around in the living room, laughing at getting herself dizzy, whilst I hold a cold compress on my nozzle and feel sorry for myself. No remorse from her, no cuddles, no nothing. Is there ANYONE else in the world that we’d forgive (all be it sulkily) so readily other than our kids? Now it’s four hours later and my nose is still throbbing. Things are looking up a wee bit though, thanks to a large glass of red wine and a husband on the way home with a chinese. C’est la vie. . . till the next time xxx



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7 responses to “Actual Bodily Harm . . .by a one-year-old!

  1. ha ha sorry but that is really funny!! Just goes to prove my theory that you should NEVER EVER wake a sleeping baby!!!

  2. So glad my pain amuses you!!! 😉 xxx

  3. Brilliant!
    I had my daughter do the backwards headbutt on me once and give me the biggest, fattest lip ever. I looked like I’d been injected with a gallon of botox.
    Hope the nose feels better soon.
    Heather xx

  4. Glad it’s not just me then Heather! Hmmm, maybe we should just get them to aim where needed if it has the same effect as botox? Save a fortune! x

  5. This has happened to me sooo many times, though mine usually manage to headbutt my eye-socket and I feel like my eye is going to explode – but yes forgiven immediately!!

  6. Pingback: Top tips on what NOT to do. . . | waterbirthplease

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