I remember being held in your arms on the landing , looking out the window at the moon whilst you sang me a lullaby. I sing that same lullaby to Grace now.
I remember that you always had a ‘Mr Men’ sticking plaster. Those plasters cured many a grazed knee and dried many a tearful eye.
I remember stubbornly climbing a tree in a strop and the patient hours you spent trying to talk me down.
I remember when you used to get me to play the piano in front of your friends. I’d always put up a fuss but secretly enjoyed it (but you knew that, didn’t you.)
I remember sitting on the edge of your bed and watching you get ready for a night out and thinking how glamorous my Mummy is.
I remember your temper! When Dad wouldn’t put his newspaper down when you were arguing, so you set fire to it!
I remember when I was a teenager, my male friends ringing the house phone to talk to you because they all thought your voice was sexy.
I remember your visits to me in Bolton and how much my university friends liked you.
I remember you making me swap my dog poo bag from a Netto’s to a Marks and Spencer’s one (in case the neighbours saw!)
I remember when you put a long red velvet curtain on like a cape in a dry cleaners in order to get the “Two for One” deal on garments only.
I remember you teaching me to put make-up on properly.
I remember my brother and I finding a black and white picture of you when you were about 20 (below) and both being gobsmacked at how beautiful you looked. It’s so easy to forget your Mum was sassy and young once.
I remember you asking for a fork in MacDonald’s and being MORTIFIED!
I remember the smell of your perfume.
I remember you teaching me to knit! I still use the purple bag we made. And to read the Tarot cards. But neither of us saw this coming.
I remember you dancing to the Kaiser Chiefs at my wedding.
I remember all those times I pushed your hugs away when I was upset “Don’t make a fuss Mum!” I’d give anything for one of those hugs now.
I remember your absolute bafflement in watching Reeves and Mortimer with me once.
I remember when I was 17 and couldn’t choose between two boys I was seeing. You advise was “Darling you don’t just have one hat for every occasion.”
I remember the night I had Grace. Afterwards feeling so sorry for myself as you lived so far away and were too ill to visit. Then a few hours later waking in my hospital bed to the sound of your voice behind the curtain “Are you with the Doctor Elizabeth?” I thought for a minute I was dreaming, “Mum?” Many tears followed and you were Graces first ever visitor. I should have known nothing would stop you!
I remember your dignity and your sense of humour in facing your illness, and your bravery in facing death.
I remember exactly this time a year ago saying my final goodbye, and thanking you for being my Mum.
Grace has one hell of a Guardian Angel.
Miss you xxx