Listography time! And not one I had to give a whole lot of thought too. So, My 5 most annoying kids TV programmes would have to go as follows:
1- In The Night Garden . . . WAIT!
Before you click your little x buttons in disgust – it’s not for the reasons you’re thinking! As a programme in itself, I really like it. It’s gentle, colourful, and cosy without being to grating, and Grace LOVES it. What makes it annoying is my husbands contribution whenever it’s on. For starters, there’s his alternative lyrics to the “Upsy Daisy” song which I now can’t hear without mentally singing “Upsy Daisy, sniff my bum!” the fact that the “Ninky Nonk” becomes the “Noncey Nonce” and the most annoying – the weird dance to the Tittyfer’s singing. This dance involves sticking his bum out and strutting around Vic Reeves style, whilst squeezing imaginary boobs. (35 and the word “titty” is still funny.) Sorry love – it’s great that you want to be involved but JUST STOP IT!!!
2 – Teletubbies
It’s been done but I still had to reiterate the annoyance! “Agaaaaain! Again, again!” PLEASE God not again. Even my one year old found it crap the first time!
They don’t even deserve a picture. We all know what the little bastards look like!
3 – I have to break the trend a bit here and hark back to the 80’s and the show that, as a kid I not just found annoying. . . I LOATHED it! And that’d be Rod Hull and the Kids of the Pink F***ing Windmill!
Even as a kid, it was painfully obvious that Rod was an oddball geriatric with his hand up a pretend Emu’s arse. A very unlikable Emu with a penchant for violence. The kids of the Pink Windmill however, were the Peice de resistance. Aggravating little stage school, prancing, TOSSERS! ( I was rooting for Grotbags to get them brats!)
4 – Barney The Purple dinosaur:
With a kick,
and a punch,
and a bullet to his head,
Now that purple freak is dead ”
5 – Grange Hill after Mrs McClusky left. Nuff said.