IGNORE THE LAST POST!

Did you read my last post? Well, I take it all back! I think the terrible two’s may have come early and I’m well and truly – absolutely – officially POOPED! Something has possessed my little gibbley angel and replaced her with a screaming contortionist on a mission to destroy all that stands in her path. Just ask the staff at Hobbycraft. They’re probably still trying to sort out the aftermath of a visit from the Tasmanian Devil that currently is my daughter. You see I made what I now know to be something of a classic error. Grace has decided that being in her pushchair is rubbish. Just rubbish. So while I am deliberating over various pots of glitter, G is straining at the straps like she’s pulling a monster truck in the World’s Strongest Man, and the whittering is reaching a crescendo.

“I know” thinks I “I’ll let her out – just for a minute, so she can have a little pootle about.” (I can FEEL the smiles from Mums in the know reading this!)

WOOoooosh . . . where’d she go?

After running round several isles after her (which is, apparently HILARIOUS) I finally catch up, scoop her up, and set her back down by the things I want to look at. Her concentration lasts all of 10 seconds whilst she picks up a tub of sequins, decides they are obviously for losers, and flings them away before triumphantly absconding again. This pattern repeats itself several times, and hundreds of various bottles/straws/ribbons/stickers/books are strewn with glee all over the floors before I decide enough is enough, and try to put her back in her push chair.

 It would appear that this is the end of the world. All hell breaks loose. Not just crying – n n no. Full on heart wrenching,ear-splitting  screaming, whilst thrusting around and making herself stiff as a board, and therefore, impossible to strap in.

Shopping is impossible, basket is abandoned, and pushchair is wheeled abruptly back to the car. Ooooh and the LOOKS from people! Some bend down and try to pander to her hissy fit with a concered “Oh sweety whadda madda?” (I feel like they may as well be saying “Is Mummy wummy woo being a howible mummy wummy and letting you cry?”)

T**ts.

 Others just glare like you’ve RUINED their day. Some bite their bottom lip and tilt their head sympathetically. I ignore all of them and crash on out the shop – mentally flicking V signs at everyone as I go and annoyed that I haven’t done my shopping. 

The car park however is a place of magic and calm, and the second we’re outside, all is calm and well, thumb is sucked and hair is twiddled.  

Now . . . to get her in the car seat . . .

Advertisements

12 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

12 responses to “IGNORE THE LAST POST!

  1. OMG!! I love it…I feel your pain!! X

  2. Thank you – I’m still feeling it too!!! x

  3. I am so with you on this one! Was planning to come to UK this year with little man but the whole idea of him on a plane fills me with dread! (I can just imagine I will be the person no-one wants to be sat near.)

    How do they learn these tantrums? it isn’t like they see it at home to copy – it must be pre-programmed into children – I have to cope with Al throwing himself on the floor and the high pitched scream/wail – I used to look at Mums and think – blimey they can’t control their child! (now I feel I owe a huge apology to all Mums!!!!)

    Plus Al has forgotten he used to get up about 8.30am! he now likes pre 7am to get up – yawn

  4. OMG….absolutely bloody hilarious!

    My daughter seems to have reached this stage now too and I’m exhausted this week. I wander into her room in the morning wondering what sort of mood she’s in. She’ll either be in a very obedient sweet butter wouldn’t melt mood or, more likely, in a hands in everywhere, won’t sit still for a moment mood.

    Ah the joys of motherhood!

    xx

  5. Ah – glad it’s not just me then! “joys” indeed 🙂 x

  6. And this is why I never take my kids shopping! Seriously, any enjoyment I would get out of looking at things is totally negated by the whining and fussing, and let him out and he runs wild! Shop online?

  7. Oh hun, I feel for you! DD is just starting to show signs of entering this stage. She’s learned ‘no’ and so it’s the answer to every question including ‘have you pooed?’ and ‘are you going to eat anything today?’ *Sigh*

  8. You just managed to describe Emma EXACTLY, today we were in a wine shop, and Emma was tearing round like a loon, and the guy behind the counter says … Almost 2? ….’ Yup’ I reply… ‘How do you calm her down?….’ ‘With a stun gun’ I reply… Cue woman drops coffee in shock and tuts at her friend… Ah get a sense of humour you old boot

  9. Ha ha . . . brilliant! I imagine a wine shop is a wee bit more destroyable too! x

  10. hmm just a tad – its a wine shop that sells posh coffee and cakes to ladies what lunch so tearaway 2 yr olds are MOST not welcome

  11. Pingback: Keep calm and carry on? | waterbirthplease

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s