Men are from Mars, women are mental.

There has been many a wise quote from those more learned than our good selves on the complex and varied differences between men and women. I however,couldn’t find a good one off-of Google  have decided not to patronise you with that sort of showing off , and thus my introduction to this blog post is somewhat less learned than I originally intended.

I am sure the likes of Wilde and Churchill have put it far more succinctly that I, but, having discussed the subject at length with fellow Mums, friends and colleagues, I believe some of the fundamental differences between men and women are as follows:

  •   If a man with a small child has free time – it is his time. Computer, TV, ( or in my husbands case air guitar practice) whereas a Mum will have free time and tidy/iron/cook/clean/hoover etc. God, the 18-year-old feminist me would cringe if she read those words.” Not I!” she would cry with defiance! Sorry 18-year-old me . . . it seems you’ve fallen into the domestic hum drum you always thought would be so dreary (turns out it’s not that bad though . . . shhhhhhhhhh!)
  •  Cans of fizzy pop. Men can drink them at infinitesimal speed. Women can make them last hours, even all day. I know not why this is so. It just is.
  • Men aren’t as hard on themselves. (Something they’ve got right!)
  • Men seem to lose the art of complimenting you after a certain amount of time together. (The time I though I looked like a funky goddess of gorgeousness in my skinny jeans and brand new – uber-cool, trainer booties springs to mind. I descended the stairs fully ready for the flood of compliments and the dropping jaw. I was asked instead why I was wearing orthopedic shoes.)
  • One we all know but still so true. Communication. We just do it so much better girls.
  • Women over think and analyse things WAY too much.


Now my husband couldn’t really be described as a typical bloke. He hates football, he cries at Secret Millionaire, and he LOVES Louis Spence. (Honestly – he isn’t gay) and yet in other respects, MAN he’s such a . . . well . . . man! Untidy, finds his own, and his daughter’s farts hilarious, and thinks that a box of Mingles is an acceptable mother’s day present. Whilst I am painstakingly trying to teach our little girl to say useful words like “Mummy” “Cat” “Thank you” “Ball” etc, other half is equally as painstakingly trying to get her saying “Shabba” and “High-ya” (kung fu style, with karate chop.) Unfortunately it appears the wee one is mastering his choices a little more easily than mine. Damn it!  

However, to be a fair, impartial and responsible blogger, I shall now list my husbands response when I asked him what he feels the fundamental differences between the sexes are:

  • Women are mental

(and several minutes later after further pondering:)

  • And men make better ‘car breaking’ and machine gun noises.

And thus he beautifully illustrated the last point on my own list. And yet, despite all these differences  ***mushy bit alert**** I honest to God think he’s ace. Funny, caring, a fantastic Dad and a smile that makes me melt. I love that he makes up his own songs for Grace (current favourite is “Oh he always stays inside his house, cause heeeee’s agoraphobic” to the tune of Viva Espana. I have no idea what inspired this but the wee one likes it. I love that he’s entered the National Air Guitar Championships. I even love his tattoo of the “Ozrich Tentacles”  has blurred over time and looks like “Ostrich Testicles”

Sometimes I’ll get tired, grumpy, and feel like I do everything. Then I remember, I really don’t. Just having that person to shout out too to pass you something , or a “just watch her a sec while I have a shower/phone a friend/do my hair . . . (delete as appropriate) is something we shouldn’t take for granted. At times like that I take my virtual hat off to the incredible job all the single parents out there do. Dunno if I could do it to be honest, and some of the Mums I know bringing up children on their own genuinely leave me in awe. (Fully appreciate there are single Dads too – just don’t know any!)

And that, good people is my musing upon the battle of the sexes. There isn’t one really unless you make one. As my wise Mum once told me, “Mr Right does not exist, but Mr Right-for-you just might”

Disclaimer: Please note that the author of this blog post is fully aware that observations made are not applicable to all individuals, and that there may indeed be many men with superb communication skills, and many women expert in the field of car breaking noises. The opinions expressed are those of the writer only and not intended to cause offence, or get millions of comments correcting said observations. (Actually I take that last one back – millions of comments would do in any capacity!) 


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9 responses to “Men are from Mars, women are mental.

  1. I love this post!! Very funny and oh so true. How is the light up cod piece coming on, by the way?

  2. Thank you! Slow progress with the codpeice but Rock n Roll will triumph I’m sure!

  3. hiya! just popped by to say i too, loved this post! i had no idea air guitaring was such a sport!

    my son cringes with embarrassment every time i play guns with him and make the most pathetic ‘pew pew’ noises EVER…i shall record some dudes making them and then fool him by repeatedly pressing play, stop, play (when it’s my turn) stop….u get where i am going with this?!

    anyhoo, have a lovely evening!

    see you again soon!

    tamsyn xx

  4. Ace idea that Tamsyn! Although possibly tricky to execute? Let me know how you get on 😀 x

  5. Msissa

    Brilliant brilliant brilliant post! Although it does sound like we’ve got the same husband…good job you put the photo on to help me differentiate 😉
    And do tell him that “oh he always stays inside the house, cos heeeeee’s agoraphobic” is actual genius!

  6. I aint telling him that! Doesn’t need ANY encouragment. Glad to know it’s not just me though 😀 xx

  7. Men also don’t have the ability to creep past their toddler’s room without stepping on every creaking floorboard… even when they’re clearly marked with yellow stickers. (Sorry, realised this is probably just my house….!)

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