A Meeting of Two Great Minds:
As Told By Grace:
Why, hello little creature! Who are you? What are you? Let me crouch down and get a better look. Nope, not good enough I shall have to pick you up for closer inspection.
WOW! I am SO excited to meet you, I need to scream and scream. Why are you so squidgy to touch? What are these long things coming out of your head? OOoooh – they shrink when I prod them. I feel this warrants more excited screaming.
Mummy is telling me to be gentle so I shall put you on the table and stroke your shell. There you are little creature. What’s that Mum? “Snail” you say? Hhmmmm . . . interesting. Well bye bye for now, new friend. I apologise for stepping on one of your brethren earlier. I do hope it wasn’t anyone close. Here is a big kiss for you to remember me by . . . . MWAH!”
As Told by the Snail:
JESUS CHRIIIIIST IT’S A GIANT! AND IT’S PICKING ME UP! NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? GET OFF ME, SCREAMING-BANSHEE-GIANT-GIRL!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH . . . MY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYES!
Oh thank God, she’s putting me down on the table. Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU God of Gastropods. . . .
. . . SHE’S GOING TO EAT ME – AAAAAAAAH. . . .
Ok, she’s not. Phew. Breathe, breathe. . . it’ll all be ok. I’m outta here as fast as my one muscular foot can carry me.
YOU KILLED MY UNCLE!!!