Snail Meets Toddler

 A Meeting of Two Great Minds:

As Told By Grace:

Why, hello little creature! Who are you? What are you? Let me crouch down and get a better look. Nope, not good enough I shall have to pick you up for closer inspection.

 WOW! I am SO excited to meet you, I need to scream and scream. Why are you so squidgy to touch? What are these long things coming out of your head? OOoooh – they shrink when I prod them. I feel this warrants more excited screaming.

Mummy is telling me to be gentle so I shall put you on the table and stroke your shell. There you are little creature. What’s that Mum? “Snail” you say? Hhmmmm . . . interesting. Well bye bye for now, new friend. I apologise for stepping on one of your brethren earlier. I do hope it wasn’t anyone close. Here is a big kiss for you to remember me by . . . . MWAH!”

 

As Told by the Snail:

JESUS CHRIIIIIST IT’S A GIANT! AND IT’S PICKING ME UP! NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? GET OFF ME, SCREAMING-BANSHEE-GIANT-GIRL!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH  . . .  MY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYES!

Oh thank God, she’s putting me down on the table. Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU God of Gastropods. . . .

. . . SHE’S GOING TO EAT ME – AAAAAAAAH. . . .

Ok, she’s not. Phew. Breathe, breathe. . . it’ll all be ok. I’m outta here as fast as my one muscular foot can carry me.

YOU KILLED MY UNCLE!!!

Advertisements

11 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

11 responses to “Snail Meets Toddler

  1. I’ve chuckled quite profusely at this one. Love it!

  2. Why thank you. Really must stop blogging after a glass of vino!

  3. Tee hee! DD is like this with insects too. Kisses everything. Not so nice for them though 😀

  4. Oh wow…gone from in a bad mood to a huge smile..fantastic 😀

  5. Aw lovely! Glad my ramblings made you smile 🙂 x

  6. Lmao, I can’t believe the snail stayed out of its shell, it obviously knew she was a gentle soul really!

    Mich x

  7. absolutely brilliant!!! love this post!

    ps poor snail’s uncle….

    xxx

  8. absolutely brilliant!!! love this post!

    ps poor snail’s uncle….

    xxx

  9. Donna

    Liam likes snails too!!! He tried a whole one at nursery a few months ago…luckily one of the nursery assistants caught him before it went CRUNCH!!!!! x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s