Bugger, bollocky, bum and back to reality with a bang! (Check THAT for alliteration Mr G – old english teacher who said I wouldn’t amount to much! And while you’re at it, check out my last blog post whilst I blow you a big fat raspberry . . . BBLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!)
Not a very happy bunny today. We’ve been having ongoing building work done at the house for a while now. The front garden has looked for many months like a complete dump. Piles of bricks strewn willy nilly, a strip of pavement missing along the front of the house exposing a variety of building rubble, litter and cat sh**. Weeds: rife, half empty buckets of dried up cement, various plastic containers of chemically type stuff and chunks of timber also decorate the Hiroshima that is the front garden. Or rather it did.
With Grace 2nd birthday party coming up at the weekend I was determined to have the house looking acceptable. So on go the heavy-duty gloves, out come the gardening tools, and off I go. I spent an entire day putting all the building rubble into a pile and covering it with tarpaulin. I cut back the jungle of bushes overtaking the drive. I removed all feline faeces and put down nice planks of wood. I weeded, scrubbed, hosed, brushed, binned and tidied till my back hurt and I lost the feeling in my fingers.
Certainly wont win any prizes at Chelsea, but I made it neat, tidy, and safe for the onslaught of toddlers arriving in a few days, and was mightily chuffed with myself. Feet up, glass of wine, and RELAX, ta very much. Job well done.
THE NEXT DAY husband of mine thinks he can smell gas on the driveway. “Best give the Gas people a call.” Sure enough, we have gas pipes outside the house that are older than Bruce Forsythe’s jokes, are shot to pieces, and need replacing. So this is what the front of the house looks like now . . .
. . . and the driveway
. . . and the porch I’d just had carpeted . . .
For **** sake!!!!
May have to abandon the Pirate Theme and replace with a Health and Safety theme. Hard hats worn by all, no naked candle flames on the cake etc.