Firstly, I would like to apologise for my absence. I was ill. Then I felt better – but was very busy catching up on everything I’d missed when I was ill. Then I got ill again which was
LITERALLY a pain in the arse a tad annoying, and then Grace got ill. She’s on the mend now but still not herself. . . .Boooooooo chest infections! Booooo being ill! Determined to stave off further infections and nastiness, I have now bought the equivalent of a small pharmacy to stock up the ol’ kitchen cupboard. I have also put copious amounts af garlic into everything we eat, and as a result: stink. Don’t care! My unusual aroma shall be my ally in that it will keep infected members of Joe public and their horrid germs at arm’s length.
Apart from the onslaught of unpleasantness in the bodily functions area, here’s what else has been going on in the waterbirthplease household:
- “Octruss” is no longer with us. I had a very, very bad day and was sick of the wilting giant mollusc getting in my face, so I battered him with a plastic cow. (It was the nearest thing to hand.) Don’t worry – Gibby didn’t witness it. But I subsequently felt so terrible that I’ve made her a special “Octruss” laminated picture to fulfill her sea-creature needs.
- We’ve had a real coal fire fitted! Plus side: It’s DEAD cosy, and I get to burn stuff. Minus side: Our “special” cat Winnie likes to try to get in it when it’s lit, and I stink of a bonfire most of the time now . . . as well as garlic. Nice.
- Stu, my perplexing and unusual husband, has decided he would like to break a Guinness World Record. He is not too bothered what it is, but current favourite ideas involve running a certain distance wearing flippers, or some kind of feat of endurance whilst being a one-man-band. I am trying to be supportive.
- I have wasted approximately 4 hours of my life watching Pat Sharp being a dick-head on “I’m a Celebrity.” 4 hours!
- I have rediscovered the joys of laminating again (due to no. 1 on this list.) I have laminated recipes, Giblet’s works of art, and the instructions for the laminator. GET IN!
- In preparation for Christmas, I have diligently done . . . sod all. Need to address this asap.
So that’s you lovely lot up to speed. Nothing earth-shatteringly interesting, just another little glimpse into our bizarre little lives. Must dash . . .”I’m a celeb” is just starting 🙂