My Little Positivity Trick.

I do this thing with Grace every night. I didn’t think anything of it really, but a couple of my Mummy friends I’ve mentioned it to have said they think it’s a lovely idea, and they do it too now. So I thought I’d share it.

I can’t remember when I started doing it, but I remember why. You see, I went through a phase of reading self-help books during a low point in my mid-twenties. For the most part – they didn’t really help. However – there was one piece of advice that for some reason stuck with me. I can’t remember the book, or the exact method it recommended, but it was to do with writing down anything positive from your day before you go to bed.

Even if you’ve had the shittiest day in history, have been stressed to buggery, or it’s been mundane as hell, you can always dig deep to find something:

  • I’ve had a good chat with my friend this morning.
  • I cried and felt better for it.
  • I got to read a few chapters of a good book. 

 Etc.

I have since found out that writing down positive thoughts, and/or reasons to be grateful is quite a commonly recommended psychological practice, and has been found to be very effective in improving mood and encouraging happiness. (I could launch into the science and research behind it all at this point – but nah. I’ll keep it short and sweet I think.)

So for a while, I did this excercise religiously, and I’m sure it went some way into instilling a little positivity again. Nowadays I don’t bother for myself, but I do my own little version with Grace every night. We read our bedtime story and cuddle together. I ask her to think of three nice things about her day. Before she was as verbal, I’d tell her three nice things about her day. Now I can ask – prompt if need be – and it’s lovely.

Even after a nightmare day from hell when she’s been a little madam and I’m at my wit’s end, we always think of something. Tonight, she volunteered the following:

  • My play with Poppy.
  • My seen Grandma and Grandad.
  • My throw TEN sticks in the puddle with Mummy.

She then re-played the stick throwing – counting to ten and laughing to herself.

I’m no psychology expert. I’m definitely no parenting expert. But I love this habit we’ve developed of ending every day with nice thoughts. I suppose that deep down, I’m hoping it’ll kind of help her develop a happy mind-set. If she can learn to find the good in even the not-so-good days, then surely that’s a positive thing?

 

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “My Little Positivity Trick.

  1. Ah, that’s lovely. Eva and I have similar chats so reading this tells me I must do the same with luka. He always says “this is the best day ever!”

    XxX

  2. My therapist recommended this approach during my treatment for PND.I have to admit that it worked really well. It’s a great habit to get into and well done you for passing it onto Grace x

  3. It’s an amazing therapy, and I think it’s an incredible gift you’re trying to instill in Grace-to be full of Grace!!

    Really, really lovely post…i have been doing the gratitude thing since this happened with alex,and i swear it’s the only thing that’s got me through and not jumping off the nearest cliff-even though how i’d have the energy to first climb the cliff in order to throw myself off…..!!!!

    xxxxxxxxxx

    • Glad you like it Tam. It’s used much more than I first realised, and I’m so glad you found something that could help a little. (p.s – I’ll be ordering my T shirt on pay day.) xxx

  4. What a lovely idea – think I might have to borrow this one with the girls, not least because it will mean my overthinking Bigger will go to bed with nice things at the front of her mind

    • Ooooh – I love the thought that this will be used by other people! What’s really nice is sometimes they surprise you and remember some little thing you thought was totally insignificant. x

  5. That’s a lovely idea. Once N’s talking properly, I’m going to try this with him. It’ll be good especially on days when I’ve been working.

  6. It’s a lovely idea, and as you say, will stand her in really good stead. Isn’t it also meant to be good to get children to recap things that have happened – I’m not sure why. They seem to do that a lot at school. I’ve noticed that they do it at the end of children’s tv programmes too (Balamory, Tweenies). I think what you are doing is recapping the day, and picking out the good things.

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