Odd Conversations with Grace Part 2

“Mummy, you want to play shops?”

“Yes ok.”

Grace pootles off to fetch her toy till and pretend food, placing it all very carefully on the coffee table. She sits down on her little stool and her fingers hover over the till keys, at the ready.

“Ok – Ready Mummy!”

“Right ho . . . Good Morning Shop Keeper!”

“Nooooo . . . you have to knock.”

“Oh, ok.” (knocks on pretend door) “Can I come in?”

“No. Shops closed.”

Shopkeeper sits at her till patiently. Mummy stands still, unsure of next move. Shopkeeper leans over and whispers, conspiratorially:

“Mummy . . . you have to knock knock again.”

**sigh** (Knocks AGAIN on pretend door.) “Can I come in?”

“YES! Shop’s open! What would you like Mummy?”

“Erm, I’d like a tomato please.”

“We haven’t got any.”

“There’s one there.” (Indicates toy tomato.) Shopkeeper makes a deliberate point of looking away.

“Well ok then, I’ll have a banana and some bread please.”

(Getting impatient) “We haven’t got any!”

“Cereal then.”

Shopkeeper shakes head.

“Some cat food?”

Head shaking continues.


“This is ridiculous Mummy.”

“Well yes, I agree actually, it is. What have you got Grace?”

“I’m NOT Grace I’m shop keeper.”

(Through gritted teeth) “What . . . have . . . you . . . got . . . .shopkeeper?”

“Hmmmmm. . . let me see.”

Shopkeeper taps a thoughtful index finger on her chin.

“I’ve got a dirty sausage.”

“Really? . . . a dirty sausage?”

“Uh-huh.” (Passes me an imaginary dirty sausage.) “AND we got this doofer here.” (passes me remote control) “AND we got dinosaur.” (Large rubber T Rex is unceremoniously dumped into my arms)AND a snowman, but you have to go up into the sky for that. . . . 2 pounds please.

I dutifully pay my imaginary 2 pounds, and it is carefully placed into the till draw by little hands.

“Right – Wass your name?”


Repeats slowly “M-u-m-m-y” whilst carefully typing random buttons on the till.
“Good . . . Mummy. How old are you?”

“This is a very intrusive shop . . . “

“How OLD are you Mummy??”


“34? A three and a four?”


A three and a four are carefully entered into the till.

“Bye Bye Mummy. . . Your turn to be shopkeeper now!”



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7 responses to “Odd Conversations with Grace Part 2

  1. REDney

    She will have a good future in most retail outlets! Especially the looking away part! Haaaaa…. Well done Gibby, dirty sausages and dinosaurs are what we all secretly want!

  2. Sounds like an average experience at a customer service desk if you’re trying to return an item, or ask for anything out of the ordinary.

    Though I’m not sure a “dirty sausage” would ever feature.

  3. Love it! however dirty sausage???

  4. I can’t believe I don’t come over here more often! I resolve to visit more after tonight 🙂

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