Oooooooh . . . Contravertial! Well actually, not so much. It’s the term I have a beef with – the obsession of categorising and labelling the many ways we try to muddle through parenthood – not the practice of doing it. And when did this become a “thing” anyway? I don’t remember this being a “thing” when Grace was a baby, much like “attachment parenting.” Just hearing the words annoys me. If I haven’t followed this latest rule book (or thing-we-all-do-but-someone’s-given-it-a-label-and-made-a-load-of-cash-and-publicity-for-themselves) to the letter, then is the implication that I am unattached to my baby?
I am not disputing any of the claims made about it. I just despair of the need to put what kind of parent you are in a box.
Sometimes, if she really wouldn’t settle, I would keep Grace on me in a sling. That was fine. Sometimes I didn’t and she’d sleep in her basket. That was fine too. In fact personally, that was preferable as I have a back problems. Does that make me a “baby wearer” ? Are there a certain amount of hours in a day to fulfil the criteria to claim the baby wearing title? It baffles me.
And is the act of “baby wearing” open to interpretation I wonder? Could it be taken literally? Perhaps we could fashion our new borns into some kind of elaborate hat or brooch? I can just picture myself sauntering down a trendy highstreet, my baffled baby carefully woven into an Ascot-stylee headpiece that Princess Beatrice would be envious of. I would nod knowingly at the starring passers by and point up to the wee one bouncing along on my bounce whilst smugly mouthing the words “baby wearing, darling.” Ha.
One of the “pros” I
carefully researched found on Wikipedia was that it helps to “humanise” your baby. This is worrying. If I haven’t filled my quota of hours to be an official practitioner of “baby wearing”, then I will at some point have to brake the news to Grace that she is not, in fact, human.
Pro number two read as follows:
“Babywearing allows the wearer to have two free hands to accomplish tasks such as laundry.”
Oh just f*** off.
If you love having your baby with you 24/7 because that’s how you want to parent, then I totally get that, but if you do it to be more efficient at multitasking, then I’m afraid we can’t be friends.
Relating this to my own experience of having a baby, I suspect the good karma generated by the times I did “wear” Grace was counterbalanced by the stress levels of my husband. He worried about my clumsiness you see ( it has been said that I am somewhat lacking in spacial awareness) and he’d hop around me and the little bundle strapped to my chest swiftly darting his hand twixt baby’s head and any sharp corners or door frames I approached.
Thank God we didn’t have twins or triplets.
Was I the only one to watch the infamous Geldof/Hopkins interview on This Morning and think they were both talking guff?
What kind of parent are you? A baby wearing/whispering/Fordian/old school/attachment/contented/controlled/baby-lead one?
Or is there an official category for the parents that don’t fit into an official category and are just trying their best? Trying different things and seeing what suits? Because surely that’s 99% of us.
How about . . . Now bear with me on this because this is pretty radical . . . Parents fall into one of just three categories:
Or the name the kids you love call you.