Tag Archives: guilt

Guilty!

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I did not fully understand the true meaning of the word guilt until I had my daughter. It comes hand in hand with parenthood. It is as much a part of me now as my heart beating, my eyes blinking, or the love I feel when I look at Grace. It is sometimes hugely prevalent in the forefront of my mind and it is sometimes just lingering a little, very deep down, but it is always there.

Why?

I know at heart that I am not a bad parent. But none-the-less, guilt nips away at my heels like an incessant little gremlim, forever nagging at me that I “could be doing it better.” I look at my parent friends, or other bloggers, and there it is again . . . nip nip nip . . . “they’re doing it better than you.”

I asked other Mothers what they felt guilty about. I asked them to show me in the form of a photograph. I expected a mixture of responses, from the humorous/tongue-in-cheek, to the more heartfelt. The results shocked me: Partly because some of these women I know and deemed to be super-confident parents, surely with nothing to feel guilty about? Partly because some of these women I do not know, yet they welcomed the chance to bravely share things so deeply personal. And partly because I was surprised how many chose to be anonymous and not include their face in the shot.

There was a distinct lack of the humorous/tongue in cheek. I can’t help but wonder what this might imply. . . Maybe that we should never assume other Mums are doing a better job. We are all – for the most part – just doing our best, and that should be something to feel proud of, not guilty about. Maybe we have not “committed a wrong.” Maybe we have not “Failed in an obligation.”

So why do so many of us feel like we have?

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Perhaps this last photo sums it up . . .

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Is it time we started forgiving ourselves a little more? And if anyone knows exactly how you do that, please let me know.

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Baby Feeding Support Week?

It’s breastfeeding awareness week! Thank God for that . . . I had no idea that’s what they were for! (Seriously though, is this really necessary? Is there any mother or Mum to be that isn’t aware of breastfeeding? That hasn’t had the “breast is best” philosophy battered into them from the second they meet their first mid-wife?) Looking at other Mummy blogger posts it seems to me that it should be re-named “Breastfeeding can be really difficult”  week as that’s the thing that comes as a shock to us. We KNOW it’s the best start, it’s natures miracle, it’s best for bonding etc, etc. What we don’t find out till trying to do it, is that it can also be incredibly difficult, exhausting, and painful if you don’t get it right. And getting it right is what can be hard . . . a catch 22 for so many new mothers.

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